Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Decisions

We are given one life, and the decision is our whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live.

Most of the things we decide are not what we know to be the best. We say yes, merely because we are driven into a corner and must say something.

Every decision is liberating, even if it leads to disaster. Otherwise, why do so many people walk upright and with open eyes into their misfortune?



We all make decisions every other moment --- some decisions which have no bearing after an hour, others which stay with us for the rest of our life.

This semester, has been all about decisions .. I guess its like the real-life application of taking decisions under monstrous constraints of opportunity and time. And here I am, the dreamy-eyed simple minded boy who thought which IIT to join would be the toughest decision I would ever have to make !!!

But that was actually easy .. 'coz my heart was sure that I wanted to go to Kgp .. closer to home for 4 years before I went out for a new life. Now, my heart is torn apart. It seems that "the problem of plenty" is indeed a problem. It places the blame of a bad decision on your shoulders and not on 'lack of opportunity'. So, having all the projects on offer to choose from, really was a curse in disguise as I carefully tried to optimize the project contents, the scope of innovation, chances of publication and finally the reputation of the Professor himself.

It finally came down to the classic tussle between an established best professor(who is too busy, at times) and an upcoming, second-best professor. Close-call : Reason said that I should go for the upcoming prof with better chances of a publication (he was also kind of interested in taking me). However, since when did I become intelligent ???

So, I took the plunge and listened to my heart. Selected the Prof with reputation. After all, he is GOD and if there was one person I wanted to work with in IIT, it was this man. Childhood dream coming true ... but you might just be reading in this very space after a couple of months about how frustated I am 'coz my prof has no time for me. Real possibility : but that's the risk you take to listen to your heart. And when I was really undecided, I called up my mom !!!!
And she made the decision for me .. or rather I made her say what I wanted to hear !! So, its no longer my decision -- so no blame on me :)
And going by the record, my mom's decisions never go wrong .. so I should be just fine. And even if I am not, my mom's there to take the blame :)

"The heart is always wiser than the intellect"

After all, we will occasionally make a bad decision .... but I guess that happiness lies in looking at it as the second-best decision that you could have made. And well, for a person who has always been second-best all his life, second-best is like 'as good as it gets'. I can live with the fact that i listened to my heart and made a bad choice, but making a bad choice by ignoring the heart really hurts .

So, done with decisions !!!!
Well ..................................................... not really.

"Wait for Microsoft Research or go to Dortmund/INRIA/Aachen ?????" Any suggestions anybody ?? Even my mother shied away from calling on this one ;)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

suor, tumi motei hearter katha sono ni----u did wat most other people will do--to go for the reputed one----understood!!!!! there is nothing called heart here---ask urself and u will get the answer----u ve chosen only because of his reputation----and wat childhood dream???????from when u r thinking of working with him ---as i am not wrong upto last semester it was some other person who is not here present now-----so dont tell that it's ur childhood dream---ar hopefully gayr kaj kare niyechho.

shaunak said...

@arka : dekho, I dont think everyone would go for PPC .. coz I personally many more reasons to go for PDG .. I knew if I took PPC, the initiative would have to be on my part .. but the returns could be greater .. also I got to work on Algo and not VLSI .. so this time around .. whether you bliv it or not .. I did listen to my heart.

And about RSG .. yes, if she was around I would definitely have chosen her. But I always wanted to work with PPC(maybe not for BTP) coz we have always heard that he is the best here.

For once, I think you didn't quite judge it well enough :)

Anonymous said...

amar ki hobe !! amaaaar ki hobe !!

............Credits(Bhoomi)

Mayank said...

Hope watever you choose brings you loads of success "and HAPPINESS"!!!

Romram said...

uuuuhhhhh... uhhhhhh... the problem with you is that, You have too much to choose from... and now I see how a moderate person(ex. Me) is really happy with wats going on in his life.... but surely theres always a solution to every problem and if it comes from the heart you will always be Happy no matter what be the consequences. So follow ur heart and always remember that what ever happens, happens for good.

With regard to Internships... I suggest that you stick with MSR becuz if u don't dare and dream you don't achieve.and haan pushing mom to say what you want and then putting all the responsibility on her... nice ... I will try this when my turn comes.... :D

Anonymous said...

Good, finally someone is learning to listen to his heart. I am happy for you because you are finally doing what you want to do and not what people expect or want you to do. As you quoted in your blog- You live only one life. And it is very important to do things that you really want to do. And knowing you,I am sure that you will not want to do something morally or legally wrong. So its ok from that point of view.
And about being "second best", it depends on how big a picture you are seeing. Change the angle of vision a bit and things will look different.
As for training, go for MSR. You will get it. You need to gamble, but it will pay off in the end. If possible, keep mailing and keep a backup (self-arranged) that you can ditch later.
@ DPC - Your sense of humour seems to be developing a bit. Good. All you need now is a comb.
@ Arka - Learn some manners. Blog-er prothom kotha holo "suor". Chhi Chhi! Bhodrota shekho!

Subin said...

It seems that you have rarely consulted your dad in decision making.Let this time he take the decision for you and see what happens ;)

Anonymous said...

Well wait for msr....But in case you think,and even i think that a university is always the best choice then go to INRIA.
Hey shaunak just for curiosity sake,what would you have done had you got an internship offer from "MIT",or any other ivy-league univ .I mean would you have waited for MSR??do reply to this question

Anonymous said...

lol amar ki hobe...thats too good...

shaunak said...

@dpc
tomar abar ki hobe ?? judging by ppl's comments, contemplate an alternate career in slapstick.

@tinni
lets hope so

@udit
dream to hai, but i cant dare to dare that much :(
as for falling back on your mom, tht really works :)

@kundu
thanks for backing me up ...
seems the renewed circumstances in your emotional equation makes you happier .. though I cant rele guess why

@subin
nice idea .. but just tht I cant complain too much to my dad if the decision is wrong .. and tht was the whole point ;)

@shubhra
after a long time ..
and yes .. the MSR thing is what i have been considering forever now .. but just cant find an acceptable solution :((

@ravi
nice to see you here ..
and regarding your question, if I had an internship from MIT or the like and MSR , I would have preferred MSR (coz of the money .. after all, if I get an intern in an MIT, then I can as well go there after i am done with kgp;) )
Of course .. the catch here is, such a thing was never a possibility for a guy like me with such limited resources.

@katoch
you amused .. dpc honoured .. me glad to be the media :)