Sand, Sea and Stars

The initial plan was to go to Varanasi, after our midsems. With Kashiyatra also on the same weekend, the setting was perfect. But when do things turn out the way we want them to ??!! This time around, Pandey didn't want to go home, so we ran out of shelter in VNS. Change of plans ... a hurried plan to go to Chandipur (a beach near Balasore .. 3 hours from kgp). That too almost got cancelled the night before departure, but Katoch's insistence paid off.

Friday afternoon .. we were squeezed and squashed in the unreserved compartment of East Coast Express and on our way. The 3-hours short journey was a plus. By 4 o' clock, we were in the hotel and in the water by 4:45. Now this beach is quite unlike any of my previously explored beaches (Puri, Digha, Chennai, Mumbai etc.. ) .. its just plain for about 5 kms !!! even if you walk 3 kms into the sea, the water only rises to your waist!!!!!!

The water was great fun .. and then the lazy relaxing on the beach under a moonless, starry sky !!! And the thin population on the beach added to the attraction :). The food was good .. not great .. but good nonetheless .. with the ice-creams, bhujias, fish fries and finger chips and pakodas .. yum yum!!!

Saturday morning was spent exploring the beach upto a nearby forest. Kundu being Kundu (actually catching a crab !!), the cool shades in the edge of the forest and the red-carpet of the crabs on the beach .. quite memorable !! Afternoon of cards and then hitting the water with a tennis ball this time .. more fun, more fun !!! Finally felt like kgp with all its pressures (now thts an exaggeration) was a distant nightmare. More star-gazing in the night on the beach .. just thinking of what life is, could have been and can be ... quality time. And then the absolutely meaningless conversations and bhaats ......

Woke up at 6:12 on Sunday morning .. the sunrise was scheduled at 6:15 .. however, the sun was out when i reached the beach, confirming my suspicion that the times weren't updated. Nonetheless, the just-risen sun was serene .. enjoyable .. the trip was coming to an end. The return train (again an unreserved compartment in East Coast) was less crowded and we sat, slept and played cards.

Finally back in kgp at noon. Quite a trip. Enjoyable for all the right reasons .. should be planning some more in the months to come. For now, should concentrate on ensuring dpc finishes the Java assignments quickly .. got to outsmart MOSS then ;-). And a few more things to take care of.

Best memory :
Lying on the beach and looking at the starlit sky ... seeing more stars than I have ever seen before .. gentle breeze and the distant splashing of the waves.

And now I want to be back there again :(

The Wonder Years

I have watched quite a few TV series, while in Kharagpur. Namely the evergreen "Friends", the suave "Apprentice" and the not-so-suave "Apprentice UK", the slapstick "Joey", the teenage-drama "One Tree Hill", the classical "Rome", the strangely-popular "Desperate Housewives", the ribald "Coupling", the clever-twins "Hustle" and "Numb3rs" ..... . .

Now, I feel a little guilty that if I were to line up the courses I took here, the latter list would be shorter !! But, thats beside the point.

The one series that I like the most, can relate to the most, brings tears to my eyes the most (not tears of sadness, mostly of inspiration and joy - though I never shed them, a little discrete about that :-) ), the one series that is closest to my heart would be "The Wonder Years". It might be due to the strange fact that Kevin Arnold (the protagonist) is just in High School and in the early seventies - so in mental maturity, pretty similar to me ;-). But its not just that. The simplicity with which so many incidents are narrated, the valuable lessons of life (like passing in a math exam .. lol) that come through .... its wonderful.

I still remember that I first saw a few episodes of TWY at the start of my second year, when I was going through a difficult phase. And how I just kept on watching those episodes, one after another .... I just loved it.

Had a torrid first half of the week - when three out of four exams walked down the line of 'horrible-ness' despite my best efforts (which started Sunday evening, and included two trips to Billoos on Monday and Tuesday evening :-) ). Realized that 'A' is actually a pretty good grade and there a lot of people who are happier than me with an 'A' or 'B'. But, I guess everyone has some 'moh-maaya' in his/her life. For me, this just currently happens to be 'My grades'. All I need is a 'Weenie' (that's the best way of spelling the name that I could think of) Cooper and then I can bid adieu to post-bad-examination regret.

And this rekindled love for TWY was initiated by watching two episodes yesterday in Katoch's room. Kevin Arnold thinking ---- "I thought there was a connection between me and Weenie through the spotlight. All I knew was that by focussing the spotlight on her, I was holding her up, and I couldn't let her down. I just couldn't let her down ... "

I just wish that I can enjoy "The Wonder Years" as much when I am fifty and dying. Let the little innocence and goodness in me never die out.

"Dreams come true"

If you haven't read my previous post, you might as well go ahead and do that, to 'understand' and "enjoy" this post more.

So, now that you know of my two dearest dreams (assuming you managed to decode "the bespectacled smile"), it gives me great pleasure in announcing the realization of one of them. Ironically, this is the only that I had actually achieved in my dreams. Even my dreams have never treaded into the proximity of "the smile".

Microsoft Research, Redmond.
The positives :

• Always wanted this Internship more than any other
• More money than anything else
• Its Microsoft, and its Research ... a terrific combination
• Great work, I am sure (though I am yet to find out what it is!!)
• Don't need to worry about how much I would be making/saving (will be more than enough)
• The 'dpc' factor : this was a late addition. What an entry !!!! No mail, no interview, just direct offer !!! Guess, that's the way the real studs operate (P.S. : I also got selected in a group which didn't interview me, some other group had ...... so that makes me a pseudo-stud, at least :D). So, now I can once again work the way I do, that is dpc works, I appreciate it, suggest modifications and then he works again ... hmmm, MSR must really love me, they just have a perfect summer planned out for me.
• A lot more reasons to cheer .. will find out as they unfold post 2nd May .. will keep posting in this space ... promise :)

The negatives :

• No "Evening at Eiffel Tower with ....." : But when thr was no '.....' , then what charm would Eiffel Tower have had ??
• Arka didn't get it. That would have been real fun. Though, a man of his calibre, deserves better .... and USC is more suited to his ambitions and interests. But would have been nice with him there.
• That's enough. A dream Internship isn't supposed to have too many negatives anyways.

For all those who have been congratulating me throughout the day,
THANKS !!!! Special thanks to my wingies and Kundu (kind of hoping this special mention will make them considerate when they go for the cal treat ;). Hopefully, will be in a position to give you all a treat .. contact dpc for more details ;)

Here's looking at the larger picture :
Big dream 1 : IITJEE - cleared with flying colours, undeservedly
Big dream 2 : The bespectacled smile - failed miserably, most probably, deservedly
Big dream 3 : MSR Internship - achieved, undeservedly ;)
Big dream 4 : As of now, 'the smile' .... its only when you have achieved all your dreams that you feel complete ......... completely happy :) - outcome : unknown, prediction : failure :((

Here's remembering the day which has been my happiest since (well .. cant remember the exact date when JEE results came out :P) ... ya, since that time. A day when India won the cricket series in Pakistan, my mother celebrated her birthday by getting a tooth pulled out, dpc celebrated waking up to a real surprise, venu celebrated being on cloud 9 and I ..... I realized it was time I became a little more deserving for all the wonderful things that keep happening to me.

For those expecting an amazing galvanization in me, I would like to tell you that I have these realizations once every month on an average. So ...

For those not expecting an amazing galvanization in me, I would like to remind them that its not every month that I get a Microsoft Research Internship. So ...

And now, since I am not in a mood to study for the remote Monday test, I will try and decide to which of the above groups I belong, should belong, would like to belong and so on ....

Endnote : "Dreams come true" (Westlife) ... Favorite music ... 'eternal optimist' ? ... impossible dream ... 'power cut .. darkness around .. bespectacled smile' .... a summer to remember (2005 or 2006) ? .... "Dreams come true", sometimes.

Of Unfulfilled Dreams ...

Its been an agonising month, for more reasons than one.
What started off as a year full of promise, soon turned into one of despair ... hadn't actually thought I would undergo this much anxiety in getting an Internship.

Tried really hard (of course, by my standards ... but four night outs in five qualifies by most standards, i guess) for Mission Mars. And got stuck where I am most helpless - code debugging. Then, bombed in Overnite, blamed dpc needlessly :). Still won rs.500 (thanks to sourish and everywhere else it is due). Also won some bucks in Spring fest(WTGW .. thanks to sourish), and some cash in C up and Mindsport (thanks to me, finally) .

Internship Blues :
Microsoft Research turned out to be a real hard nut to crack (turned down Bangalore myself (though I am not sure if they would have taken me .. just that I told them I wasn't interested in the middle of the interview) , and Redmond never even called up :(( ). Then

• Aachen not taking 3rd years
• Renouncing Dortmund and
  
• The final fiasco - INRIA too (avoiding details .. wishing well to all those who have applied)
  

Even when almost everything is lost, something remains. After all, good things happen not to good people, but to those who have the best wishes of good people. So, something turned up for me. To those who know details, please avoid them till absolute confirmation. To those who don't, just ask and I will use my discretion is answering ;)

Thanks to all the good people around and not so much around .. who made this possible.

But my dearest dreams remain unfulfilled ....
The bespectacled smile lit by a computer screen, and everything around just dark (hail the inventor of UPS ;-) ) ...
And now MSR, Redmond.

What would it take to at least try to make a genuine wish come true ...
'Coz the biggest regret is when you don't even get a chance to make a mistake ... and you are just left in the lurch to accept that ................ (i really don't know)'

Not really as bitter as I may sound ... but a little sad nonetheless.

In the moment :

• AI test tomorrow, the subject I always wanted to study, but just not feeling like it now :(
• My mom came here today - saw her after a long time, felt really good :)

Time to look ahead. But, the foolish mind looks back even when there is (and never was) nothing to look back to. And then, it stares at the vastness ahead, with the hope of fulfilling some impossible dreams .... "An evening at the Eiffel Tower with .. " flashes by ...

And then, the mind comes back to the present ... and this is where i will kindly take your leave .. AI test tomorrow :(( .
Well-wishers, please start praying.
Thanks.