21 !!

Striking out one more year from my not-so-illustrious life, birthdays (or rather the 25th hour of your birthday) are often reserved for retrospection. If you actually draw up a list of the people who wished you last year to the ones who wished you this time around, you get an inkling of how you have fared in the lives of others. And of course for those, i expected would call me up but never did ... i guess i let them down at some point of time . Unless of course they were monstrously busy or just didn't have strong enough memories or well-programmed reminders ... in all the above cases, the only way to redeem yourselves is by sending me a present from wherever you are on the face of this planet ;-)

So .. 21 !! Now i can officially lose my bachelor's degree ( and i have my mom's permission to do so as well ;-) ) but need a bride ...hmmm . But seriously , this is the best time to recap the year gone by .. if only for my benefit :)

• Had an academic high last semester and probably an academic low this time around.
• Wonderful Chennai trip last winter
• The most eventful summer ... definitely the most profound influence on my mindscape in the last few years
• A little re-arrangement of priorities : Grades are not the ultimate objective of life. You must enjoy what you are doing(something that i didn't in the last semester) . Must do all the mundane coding assignments MYSELF.
• The most torturous couple of months (September-end to November-end) made me almost want to quit studies. In fact did so before the last two exams .. and hence will get an A in OS :((. However, i think the experience helped me in becoming a better man.
• Realized where my heart is. And I think its in the right place ...

About the year ahead .. definitely one of the most important years academically .. because by this time next year i would have completed applying to all the universities .. so whatever extraordinary (:P) thing i have to do , has to be done within the next 11 months or so. Too less time, too much work :((

So i guess i will just bail out.

Hey !! I am 21 now. Got to be more responsible than that. So will start working right now. At almost 1 in the morning with a dozen mosquitoes continuously coaxing me to go to bed. Testing times ahead....

The tumble and how i got lucky

Exams over :((
:(( because the last two (the only two departmental subjects this sem) were a complete disaster simply because i didn't try hard enough ...

Anyways , i guess the damage has been done .. no point crying over spilt milk.
So decided to have dinner outside tonight for the second night in a row .. and we decided to go Waldorf (farthest from campus .. with the exception of PD) ...
Hmm .. trouble brewing ..

The usual stuff .. i had no bicycle (that is kind of a physical constant now ;) ) .. so took a ride from niksam . Now the unusual stuff ...

We always go in a group ... but today samar felt that we could just start and they would catch up .. fine by me . So we started .. waited at the first railway crossing (thats a rarety in itself) .. our group still was nowhere in sight .. Now we were descending the slope that takes us beyond Midtown .. the speed was a little too much .. i could see the second crossing also closed ... and suddenly my leg got stuck in the front wheel or so i think .. and then there was a tumble ................

Next thing i knew .. i was on the road .. bleeding from the nose .. was in the middle of the road .. so quickly moved to the side .. and just stood there and tried to estimate the damage .. i could feel the parts of my face .. so i realized i wasnt totally disfigured .. my nose was bleeding and my lips and forehead were really swollen and i was kind of giddy ..

Enough of me .. i looked around for nikhil and saw him close to me .. he was badly injured .. much worse than me .. and though i couldn't see my face .. i could feel that someone here was really hurt .. and it wasn't me . Thankfully the locals were very helpful .. they offered to take our cycle back to the hall .. and we hopped on a rickshaw and off to B.C. Roy.

On the way , i can remember being afraid that niksam was seriously hurt .. and then trying to check if my memory was working properly :) , also talking to kundu and telling him of the mishap.

In B.C.Roy : The doctor and nurses were prompt but not very caring .. they did something but could have done a little more. Niksam was apparently badly injured, while i required a second look even to make out i wasn't totally alright( that much for being able to conceal my wounds :) ). I felt bad for niksam, especially 'coz he has an exam on tuesday. Anyways we were out of there in about 15 minutes. Thankfully our friends were there now, so i felt reassured.

Now, of course, the primary objective beckoned once more .. we needed food !! So .. off to vegies .. and for today buterscotch ice cream and strawberry shake and cheese sandwich and some aloo paratha .. enough delicacies.. and avoiding the spices which could attack the internal lip cuts .. niksam still looked a little rattled .. but finally was returning to normal .

As for me .. well .. i am writing this post .. so i guess that is reassuring enough for anyone concerned about my well-being. This accident adds one more "item" to my growing list of experiences (which include pretty weird things like - "being caught for ticketless travel after having bought a ticket" , "being caught trying to give a fake note at a bank!! "). I should be fine in about a couple of days .. till then obviously my mental faculties are severely impaired so dpc will have to complete the Compilers assignment :D.

Only feel sorry for niksam and wish he gets well soon (and real soon) so that he can give a good exam on tuesday. And just for the record .. Niksam .. Ur nose is just fine , it hasnt been pushed to a side as many would make you believe ;)

P.S. : This might not be over yet . Tomorrow morning, we go back the hospital (B.C.Roy , that is) for a check-up and more medicines. The true picture will be out only then.

The tale of two nights

So often , life just takes you on a tour you are only too familiar with ...

June 23rd :
The night before i left for ahmedabad. After an "eventful" day , i had a night out and then took the train back home early morning. Sourish was there that night. And i had exactly 12 hours to wash my clothes and get them dried.

November 7th :
The night before i leave for ahmedabad (that is today) . Again after an "eventful" day with a test , a couple of assignment submissions and some other things , i had a night out (almost .. actually dozed off at 4 .. and then missed the 7 o' clock train) and then took a train back home. Sourish was in my room last night too, though only for a short time (given that he now has other things on his agenda ;-) ). The only difference being that today i just have 3 hours .. no clothes to wash .. in fact nothing to do .. so writing a post !!

Between the two above mentioned dates , a lot has happened . The most torturous semester has almost passed by (thankfully) , i have seen quite a few failures (which last year had been victories .. read illumination, debate) and for the first time ever ... i actually gave good exmas and didn't quite get the marks i thought i would !!! Well ..

And yet there remains things which just dont change ... things that you are too familiar with , some things you'd want to change but can't . And then you probably wonder .. maybe just let it remain the way it is .. after all "The heart is always wiser than the intellect" and something might happen 'before its too late'.

And now , i must hope that my presentation in ahmedabad is acceptable and i can return with full dignity. One thing's for sure , i am not going to get stuck there this time around no matter how much it rains !!! Because i am flying in and out :)

Which reminds me of my very first post on this blog "A Walk in the Clouds" ---

Oh !!! "So often , life just takes you on a tour you are only too familiar with ..."

Caught in a deadlock

"Life is a journey , one which is much better travelled with a companion by our side . But sometimes we lose our companion along the way , and then the journey becomes unbearable ."

Life , as we know it , starts from the moment we wake up everyday . And mine started today with a nightmare , which broke and gave way to another ..... "nightmare" !! 7:26 !! .. 4 minutes to the OS class . Brushing up , skipping breakfast , still walking to class ('coz of my now 'permanently' defunct bicycle) , reaching class 15 minutes late and only missing out on a piece of the professor's mind ;) .. not bad actually .

But kept thinking of the nightmare throughout .. somehow even the topic covered reflected the dilemma i was contemplating about .. DEADLOCK !! Lets just say that I had thought forgetting something important was possible .. but it seems far from over . And this battle cant be won , has to be fought alone and could well be devastating .

Life is about baseless expectations , limitless desires , a heart filled with hope ....
and then the shattering of it all .
And even then you dont quite learn your lesson .. dont quite stop dreaming .. cant quite stop expecting .. coz if you do , you lose the very quintessence of life .. HOPE .
And then it gets shattered all over again and more painfully this time around .
But can you give up hope ? Dont know , but seems i so want to , but cant ...

And amidst all this , life moves on .. you dont forget to smile at little jokes with friends , dont forget to listen to your friends and help them out , dont forget to pull their legs overtime , dont forget to complete your assignments , dont forget to watch movies and serials , dont forget the thousand other things that make up life ... and you dont forget HAPPINESS either ( just that it will take some more time and invention of a new route to get there)
But what you CANT forget is what you most want to ... and your foolish heart just doesnt let you forget !!! And you cant help wondering , if you really deserved all the pain ...

After all , if you knew DEADLOCKs , you would know that it isn't really easy to get out of them once you get into one ..

"Life is a journey , one which is much better travelled with a companion by our side . Still , despite our best intentions , some of us will lose our companions along the way , and then the journey becomes unbearable . You see , human beings are designed for many things , but loneliness isn't one of them."

N.B. : Don't read into these as overtures to my personal life . They might appear a bit too personal , as going through them just suggested to me .. but you would really be on a wild goose chase if you thought that they were a direct reference to me . And just in case you liked the opening and closing quotes ... picked up from 'Desperate Housewives' ;)

What would you do ??

Watched a movie after ages . Thankfully , it was a wonderful one , at least i felt so .
Now there is a thing in these romantic movies - they are often too idyllic or in 'unromantic' terms "unrealistic" . But then , isn't a movie also supposed to portray our dreams . And which one person in this entire world doesn't wish his/her life to be absolutely and inexplicably perfect and blissful !!!!

If only
Unassuming , simplistic movie (for details , watch the movie .. its decent enough if you are into the romantic genre) . The only thing that sticks for sometime after the credits is the pretty hackneyed question :
What would you do if you knew that this was the last day of your life ?
Personally , the first thing that comes to my mind is : ask for an extension ;-) . But jokes and materialistic thinking apart , this is one question which i think defines the priorities in our lives . The answer to this defines our very existence . Maybe that is why its not the easiest question to answer . And over the years the answer also keeps changing as our character evolves .

But the general idea is always to get a little closer to the people who really matter to you
If you aren't close , get closer .
If you are pretty close already , get closer still .
And then you will feel the time running out on you and you'll wish
if only .. i could have one more day .

And now i must get back to the drudgery of OS and compilers and ...... As i sign off , you'd better start planning because you'll only have ONE last day in your life ( ;-) ) and the catch is
"You can never quite guess it or fix it" .

Of dreams and miracles ...

Remember the time when you looked at the stars as a child !!!
And you thought that they were there only for your taking , all that was needed was a little request to your mom or dad , and they would get it for you :)

The thing is :
Whenever its your first time at something , you dont really know what to expect . So you want something which could be categorized as nothing short of a miracle . And you start living this dream . Hindrances along the way only make you believe even more that the MIRACLE is in the offing . So when does the bubble burst ?? Dont quite know .... but till it does , you pray and hope with all your heart that it comes true .
And maybe once in a lifetime , it does .....
And thats the hope that keeps us going . Thats the inspiration in our darkest hours . The light at the end of the tunnel . The shining stars in a pitch black sky .

However one must never forget - "Living your dream is not just about attaining the result , it is about who you become along the way." As long as you can do that , you deserve to keep dreaming and i daresay , deserve to actually see your dream come true .

And what if it doesn't ????????? Now thats a possibility with probability almost equal to unity but not one i am considering right now . You see , I am living my dream and if i can have just one miracle in my life , let this be it .


P.S. the above thoughts do not quite apply to the regular things in life . its only the most precious things that we dream about and need a miracle to achieve . keep dreaming and one day , it will come true :)

On a starry night ...

This post severely disregards the common perception of a timeline .. so best enjoyed as little independent anecdotes ......

Coming back from LS (after a dinner that took 3 hours, including 2 hours spent just waiting for the food !!!) the most noticeable thing was the absolutely cloudless STARRY sky . Driven by an almost compulsive urge to just gaze at the glittering sky and the support of two friends , went to Gol-C (for the first time ever during a semester) . On the way , the 'romanticism' of the railway tracks was a nice touch to a refreshing evening .

Gol-C : memory refreshed ....
17th june midnight (with udit and jadda)
22nd june evening (with sourish)
tonight (with kundu and loadu .. sourish was lurking in the background somewhere with asha ;) )
the three instances connected by the stars , me and my thoughts . Thoughts which intensified with time, and yet didn't change direction at all . In fact , i remember telling sourish something that evening and thats what is precisely happening now . Confusing ??? I know !!! So lets just concentrate on the stars ... as i lay with my back on the well-trimmed spongy grass (now its pretty ticklish at times) , my mind kept on going back in time ....

This afternoon : Came to know that my cousin who was supposed to come to india this winter , is most likely not going to come . Now i had been looking forward to her visit for the last two years so the news was pretty shattering . But what i realized is that 'Circumstances can often have the final say over human desire , and we can't do much about it' . There are slim chances that she might still make it , so i am praying and hoping .......

I did search for a shooting star because i wanted to make a wish ... but some days are just nadirs in the vicissitudes of life . On days like these , while you look up at the stars and wait for a better tomorrow( where serendipity greets you at every corner) , the trick is to just keep breathing ...

Treat Nights : Back to back

Now this weekend's been quite enlightening , though i maintained my usual record of doing absolutely nothing with my academic pending "heap" . I actually found out some things which might (will) help me in the future .

Friday night : Trilogy treat at LS . The menu : the most impressive buffet in kgp that i have come across (elaborating not essential) . Came across a hall and dept. senior , Mr. Anup Goyel, 2004 pass-out , working in trilogy for a year now. Talking to him was a nice experience . Got to know of the work conditions in the software industry , how money is not really a factor to consider in most cases , flexible working schedules and only obligation being that of meeting deadlines . Most importantly , how monotonous coding jobs are !! Now i had a feel of it last summer and for parts of this summer as well . So , now i am convinced that i am not taking up a non-R&D or non-management job .

Saturday night : Pandey,Bharath and Katoch's treat at Punjabi Dhaba . Now the 5+ km cycle ride is exhausting enough with plenty of slopes and bad roads . So the food tasted great despite the not-so-hygienic ambience . i actually sat almost on the middle of the road with the sardarji's assurance that he would save me if any truck was about to run me down !!! got a little taste of small town life (now i must admit : the lazy bone that i am, i haven't really gone around in kgp much , though you could argue that there isnt much to see) . However it was a refreshing change from the virtual, cosmopolitan way of life back in campus . After getting back , played TT for more than an hour . So my saturday went to the gallows as well ;-) . Never mind :)

Saturday :
the day when people got great summer training offers (congrats Shubhra !!)
the day when i spoke with my school-friend Arijit , who's in canada (thanks to GTalk)
the day when i finally managed to convince myself that my decision to invest the next 2 years to pursue my heart's desire is actually a rele good decision (thanks to a meaningful tete-a-tete with kundu) .
After all , my priorities were always "kuchh aur , kuchh aur , kuchh aur" ;-)

P.S. "There are two tragedies of life - one is to lose your heart's desire , the other is to gain it." - George Bernard Shaw .
"There are two tragedies of life - one is to lose your heart's desire , the other is not to pursue it when you know it." - Shaunak Chatterjee .

What makes you think ....

'Coming back home after a month-long "sabbatical" stay in kgp' .. i was looking forward to it . Though with the convocation in the insti this weekend , i guess i missed out on something . But then there were old,really close school friends back in town after a long time .... and i was dying to meet them.


Now , the last few days in kgp have been a real waste (almost ;-) ) . For one , i havent studied at all (other than the OS assignment which i completed real quick coz dpc told me of all the loopholes beforehand) . But the main reason is my new found love (OBSESSION is actually the word) for "ONE TREE HILL" . In the last four days , i have watched 22 episodes (the entire first season.. more than 16 hours ) . WHY ??? 'Coz i guess i just didnt have anything better to do and probably i liked the characters very much .


But its only when you get out of your 'holiday' mode back in kgp , that you realize that there is a big , bad world out here where people are still suffering . You see the numerous beggars on the trains (many of them truly not capable of supporting themselves :( .. ) and yet you cant really do much to help their cause . That's why i probably dont give money to beggars 'coz i feel that i will be unjust to the ones i cant give money to (i know it sounds like a stupid excuse .. but you cant possibly give money to every beggar that you meet) .... anyways ..


Now at howrah .. and suddenly arka was at his generous best ... so i gained a chilled "Frooti" in the bargain !!!! As i was laboriously tugging away at its aluminium 'sip-point' , this little kid (i dont want to use the word "urchin") came up to me and started pulling at my shirt . Now i initially adopted my usual "Sorry , but i dont have change" and "I absolutely fail to acknowledge your existence" stance . But the kid was persistent and he even quoted the price of letting go of my shirt (and mind you , he was pulling at it pretty hard now) .. an 'exorbitant' ONE RUPEE .


Obviously , the manipulative side of me decided to play the trust game . I told the kid to trust me and let go of my shirt first ... only then i would give him money . Initially reluctant , the kid finally let go trusting me to keep my word . And obviously enough i didnt give the kid 'ONE RUPEE' .

A few seconds later ....
The kid walked away from me , a little surprised and hopefully happier 'coz he had expected a hard-earned rupee .. he got a fortunate 'booty' of five bucks !!!
I walked away from the kid .. sad .. 'coz i just realized that i probably should have given more money to ensure the kid had a proper meal .

But then thats life ... unexpected surprises ... trying to do what is right but never quite doing it perfectly .... and a chilled Frooti to complement a clear conscience :)

Keeping the faith ...

The solution to a problem so often lies in itself !!
It sounds stupid but is so true . The issue thats been racking my brains for sometime now , finally found a comely solution , thanks to the internet . Its something that i saw in one of the blogs today that made me realize that
"No matter how hard you try , you cannot alter free will . So , sometimes its for the best that you dont do much and let things take their own course .... Have faith ."
Ironically , it was the internet that had indirectly conjured up the problem , in the first place .

Now , that i am smiling again (i am actually as i type these words) , i can see the clouds moving away and the sun shining through . I know the clouds will return , but then all i got to do is wait .. have faith .. wait for the light of hope to dawn once again . And I must never forget that for me - "the harder i try , the lesser i achieve" (only i didnt realize till now that this applied to non-acads as well ;) )
P.S. the theory applies only to me . apply at your own risk !!

And i have had very disturbed sleep last night because some red ants have invaded my bed . So i need to recapture my territory and ensure proper rest tonight at least .

and ALWAYS HAVE FAITH .. because thats what makes "la vita e bella" (life is beautiful)

What's the matter with me ??!!

Am i thinking too much ? Probably yes . I still rue the tedious sunday when i finished my OS assignment well before time , because it meant that i had nothing to do over the next two days .. nothing other than thinking .. thinking about life .. my life . And now i am plain and simple - S A D
Now , i havent been S A D(that is proper sad) for a long time .. ever since my cousin left on tht train last to last winter . well , there was nothing to be sad about really . as if there is now ???!!! and thats precisely the problem .
its not as if i expected something to happen which didnt .
life has not churned up any cruel surprises .
ya .. maybe i was wanting a miracle to happen which didnt come by .. but i shouldn't be complaining about that . after all , i have had my fair share of luck (and a lot more actually) . but how wonderful it would have been to be blessed with a miracle !!!!!!!!

Now i really should stop thinking . and start praying for some more luck if i have to keep my grades on track . an idle mind can be a KILLER . one thing's for sure : i am never going to complete my assignments before time ever again ;-)

One last thought :
Why is it so hard to just follow what i believe in :
"If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with."

Ending on a "lighter" note , i will remember this day when my heart became so heavy that i actually wondered if i was suffering from some heart disease !! ;-)
And now , lets just be what i always am : MYSELF n thats happy .

My idea of an almost perfect day ...

got up today at 9:30 and mind you that was early (because i slept at almost 5 this morning .. if you ever have to update 20 MB of virus definitions on norton , you will know why) . anyways had breakfast (always considered it a luxury , so on a perfect day you must indulge in luxuries).

now back to my room . i chalked out a plan for the day (my plans are always strictly acads oriented .. thats because other things just happen .. dont need any planning and those that do can't be disclosed) . it was a modest plan and i started working on it immediately . after an honest hour of silberschaltz , i returned to the comforts of "the telegraph" and my bed .

1:00 p.m. dpc's call woke me up , reminded me of the OS assignment and i needed a bath and some lunch . one thing i discovered today : a great advantage of having short hair (as i presently do) is that you can use one H&S sachet for ages . but if you spend too much time shampooing your hair , you might have to forego your lunch and survive on a couple of chlormints as i had to this afternoon :( . But an ideal day should include skipping one meal to remain in shape ;)

so the afternoon was spent on DC++(lan) trying to download lots of stuff , and a little effort towards my acad plans for the day . and then around 3:30 , i took up the "challenging" assignment of OS with quicksort.s , little knowing that this was going to occupy my intellectual assets for the remaining part of this day .

in between i found time for snacks and dinner (special dinner .. with chicken & ice-cream .. 1 more thing required for an ideal day) . but i actually kept on working on my assignment througout and finally managed to finish it without any help from anyone or dpc (2 different categories ) at 10:30 !!!

but it felt great to have honestly worked for such a long time after such a long time :)
now , obviously my acad plan was far from complete , but i can take pride from the fact i made a sincere attempt :) and thats always a good sign , because sincerity and honesty never go unpaid.

so now a little socialising .. and the world came knocking on my YM door .. after my brief conversations (with some willing and unwilling individuals) .. i settled down cosily around 11 for "The Wedding Date" (now , how can my ideal day be complete without a nice romantic movie)

oh !! and there was another element that still remained to complete my perfect day . and that happened around the stroke of midnight :) Now the best things in life are often left unsaid and let this one be one of them .

and as i wrap up an ideal day (i had decided to write a blog only if i was happy with myself tonight) , i hope to keep having such nice days aplenty in the weeks ahead . when i read this blog , i will remember this day as one when i realized "its the little things and the little efforts that we make , the little moments that we enjoy , the little happiness that we give to others that together make up a big smile and enrapture our heart and soul. "

:) Auf wiedersehen (goodbye in german) :)

Bridging the timeline ...

The (very long) summer holidays "finally" coming to an end ... i spent almost three weeks of it at home (thats an aggregate of my four odd weekends and three longer stays) .. so i guess i did fair justice to both my parents and my institute (after all both of them need me , the mighty indispensable "ME" ;-) )

Now the crunch time has come when i sit down and evaluate my summer based on my expectations and actual achievements (if any) and surprise myself !!!

Before the summer started , the things that i had in my mind were as follows :
1) a summer project on AI (now this has been my schooldays' fantasy .. still remember writing something about AI as my future ambition in our school diary)

2) a thorough review of the algorithms already studied and some newer topics ("algorithms" still remains my favourite topic in CS .. the only (academic) thing that i dont mind breaking my head over)

3) learning JAVA programming really well .. even got hold of both volumes of Core Java .. (now for the uninitiated .. i have been trying to learn Java from my second sem .. many people suspect that i know Java because three semesters is a long time .. but i really cant even write the simplest program in Java without consulting a book !! Now its another story that the same can be said about my C skills after a month's detachment from coding ;-) )

4) getting introduced to the basics of bioinformatics and computational biology (still thinking about doing my B.Tech project on this topic because it provides ample scope for application of algorithms and AI :-) .. as far as i know ;-) )

5) maybe start an informal preparation for my GRE !!

6) start reading once again .. after all most educated people (with ignoble exceptions like me) love reading . this has often made me wonder as to why i find a book too tedious a venture ...
( i even hate reading acad stuff from books .. after all what are notes for ??!! )

and now some of the wicked ideas ..
7) get dpc as project partner to ensure that i don't have to work more than i wish to ( now its not that dpc is not aware of my malicious intentions .. its just that he is too nice and lives under the misconception that i have some supernatural powers to save the day (like debugging the CPU in 3 days flat) ;-) if it ever comes to that !!

8) do absolutely NO work on prof.sarkar's ISRO project !! unless its a field survey where he offers us a sumptuous treat .

9) be consciously aware of people's birthdays and any other auspicious occasion , in order to "demand" more savoury treats !!

10) (re)learn swimming (not really a wicked idea .. just that i remembered it now and do not feeling like going up and changing the numbers ...... )

So .. i was set to have the most enriching summer in eons ( let me tell you .. i have such grand plans for each and every holiday .. they get grander with time and thus end up in even more spectacular failures ) or was history going to repeat itself ????

The self-evaluation will be up shortly (feeling very lazy at the moment) . The important thing to note is (if you havent already) that i am back in the present .. having renounced the idea of going back and back (please overlook the grammatical incongruities) in time .

In retrospect .... the summer experience


it was mid-april when i finally accepted the painful fact that i would have to stay in kgp for yet another summer !! and i was still undecided about what i would be doing ... (and even now , i cant really tell you what work i actually did this summer ! )

end-sems over and i ran to catch my train to puri .. 3 days of fun and comfort with my parents .. and then back to the grind .. wanted to do something in AI but the prof was too busy .. so it was back to SS (sudeshna sarkar) for the second summer in a row . However the work this time was better and more challenging (statistical machine translation) . And that should have got me working ??!! Oh ! you really dont know me ...

Then the surprises started to pop up ....
an Ex in prob/stats .. now i actually got full marks for a wrong solution coz the profs also thought in the same wrong track as me .. and my total was 89 . So i guess i was enjoying my golden luck with grades yet again !!! and this time it saw me through .. my first(and definitely last) perfect 10 .

The mercury was rising ..

So i was running home every weekend and often extending my stay by a day or two ... and finally i realized i should be working a little more ... so no more home-going for the next fornight (that got extended for a week more .. coz i was going to ahmedabad after that) ..

little did i know that i was going to have one of the most memorable and eventful three weeks of my life .......

enter udit sajjanhar .
linux funde and downloading songs on the dept server .. thats what got us started (we werent really close before this summer) , then the really long hours we spent in the lab working [;)] developed the friendship .... and then the joys and the sorrows we "shared" (better put as 'endured together') made him a special friend ... hope the friendship remains beyond those scorching days .

enter ashutosh parkhi , subin paul .
ashutosh struck me as a very focussed individual with aspirations of doing "kuchh aur,kuchh aur,kuchh aur ..." (further studies .. that is) . was studying almost all the time i saw him . thank goodness MS W1-206 finally had a studious inhabitant .
the most impressive human i have met in sometime .. subin paul !! i interacted with him for hardly a couple of hours and yet his sincerity and simplicity was wonderful . though i never saw him sipping at his favourite Fanta !!

enter ankita mukherjee .
i have to learn to recognize bengalis better !!!
and true to bengali tradition (i am a sorry exception), talent is aplenty in this poetess . was initially scared of her (her orkut profile isnt the most amiable i have ever seen) and our first conversation wasnt under the most favourable conditions . however , from the little that i got to know of her , i guess she can be selectively stupid (and otherwise so wise) , extremely reflective (hallmark of all poets) and can run away from "trouble" whenever required .
and thats exactly what she did before i managed to get back to kgp .

enter shubhra chandra .
miss tenacity !!!!! i must reiterate "the most hard-working female" i have ever seen . thought she was the most reticent yet the most approachable in the group (now thats a wonderful combination) ... in fact had initially thought of talking only to her on the sunday (shubhra, if you can figure out) . always thought that she held back more than what she actually said (early signs of mature wisdom .. hmmm ) . a dormant poet, great sensitivity , pretty sentimental ( as apparent from her blogs ) ....
"is the server running ?" -- first question she asked me (still remember our first extremely brief conversation .. somehow my short-term memory surprises me !!! ) . hope this friendship "runs" for a long time to come .

enter shaunak chatterjee .
surprised ???!!!
me too !!! because this summer the most surprising discoveries i made were mostly about me . i discovered some new facets of my otherwise ordinary character .
i have always believed in standing up for what i think is right .. this summer i did exactly that . i experienced the joy and the pains of trying to be selfless . the ecstasy and agony of the heart . the tribulation of sending marathon, scary, first mails (dont think too much if you cant figure out any of these .. coz then you were not close enough to the action) .
this summer i learnt a few important lessons (some that will remain with me for life i guess .. unless my short-term memory poses some problems) . one thing that i learnt and wouldn't mind sharing ...
"Always speak out your mind in full earnest and be absolutely honest . Honesty always helps and you will never regret wondering what could have happened . Give it your best shot while you are in the moment .... "

enter priya gupta .
after my initial orkut research , i had only managed to get her surname right !! even then , she lauded my research capabilities ...
a charming and infectious smile , enigmatically amiable (strange as that might sound) and the capability to bring a smile to any face (after all , what are PJs for ?? but honestly , the most wonderful virtue a person can possibly have) , taught me something really important about life (and this i will surely remember for a long time) .
the person with whom i share a few similarities.. - moderately lazy (sleeping in afternoons .. working a little otherwise) , GRE aspirants (another "kuchh aur, kuchh aur, kuchh aur" type) , not working in the lab (excessive orkutting for her , unlimited crosswords & extra-curricular research [;)] for me) .
But she loves horror movies ( oh my god !!!) she actually loves them (thats scary !!!! it really is !! ) ... and she can cook !!
hoping you can transform the "innocent and fearful kid" in me into a horror movie buff someday..

... and i somehow resemble her elder brother in looks and personality !!! hey not bad .. considering he has a job in the US !!! hope some of his nicety rubs off on me .


a little mention for all my friends here in kgp , who helped me through all the ups and downs ... being there by my side ( when i really needed them ) , once again reaffirming my pride in having really good friends . and hoping that i have made some invaluable additions to that list ...

And the "curse" of 2 continues to haunt me !!!
always the second-best in school(overall) , second in the dep(after 1st sem) , second among all B.techs (after 2nd sem) , second overall (for the last two semesters) ....
and my good fortune with the second most precious thing in life ... FRIENDS ( now thats not really a curse ) ...
all this somehow eats up my luck when it comes to the best thing . alas !!

for once , i yearned for the greatest thing in life (subjective opinion) .. and i gave it my best shot . please dont blame me for trying .
and of course you know ....
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to ....."
If you dont , then i guess you never saw MOULIN ROUGE .

now that i look back at the last two months .. i guess it was just destiny ...
that i had to stay back in kgp this summer , our trip to ahmedabad was delayed by a month and the scorching heat forced me to take shelter in the AC labs (where i met all these wonderful people) ... truly a summer to remember because its these relationships that you build along the path of life that you fondly remember and fall back upon when you stumble on the way ....

as for my project .. well ....... when was i concerned about that ?
my priorities were , are and probably will forever be ..
" kuchh aur , kuchh aur , kuchh aur " .

For a ray of sunlight

Splashed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Sunday mornings are generally associated with all things nice and sunny . " --- if you had been a simpleton like me to believe in something like that , you should have been with me in ahmedabad the day i landed there . It was raining cats and dogs (and probably donkeys !! because i saw an unusually high number of donkeys on the way to the guest house) . Smart as i am , i had anticipated that monsoons in west india wouldn't be starting till mid-july , so here i was in a city ...
witnessing its most rainy week in years .. without an umbrella !!!

However , consolation lay ahead .. from my side seat in the auto (charged us Rs.150 instead of the normal Rs.60) i saw a new species of human beings .......
"dancing and singing in the rain .. from the very rich to the not-so rich to the quite poor .. absolutely everyone .. without a care in the world . be it the loving father and daughter , the lovey-dovey young couple or the middle-aged spouses --- none wanted to miss out on a free-for-all wetty outing . in general , the people here seemd much happier than the average kolkatan and that was my first impression of this traffic-police-less city filled with multiplexes and shopping malls." Oh !! my consolation .. almost all the people seemed to have forgotten about the existence of their umbrellas (or probably didnt have any) and this , in a strange way, cheered me up !!!

The most notable things in the next three days :
1) Our room had a TV and AC , so the comfort was not compromised ;-)
2) The food at the guest house was dirt-cheap and so were the ice-creams at the Amul parlour a stone's throw away .
3) My roommates were busy reading up GRE stuff .. and so made me feel like a moron .
4) I had daily breakfast after a long time (generally skip it at home as well in kgp) and it was really very pampering (it was the best meal of the day .. after lunch).
5) Had the most sumptuous lunches in years .. around 15 chhota puris everytime !!!! thats because the dishes were quite delicious (and all veg. dishes ... so i might be able to suggest something the next time i dine with some veg-food-gobbling company ) .
6) Quite a few beautiful peacocks and their incessant screams throughout the day and night .
7) Daylight till around 8 in the evening ( and we had dinner at 7:45 !!!! )
8) Almost forgot about our work ... that will take a paragraph ..thankfully ;-)

We needed special security passes to get into the actual working area, so we were already important people . Now, our guide there overestimated us and there lay the main problem (and dpc's tactlessness didnt help either) . So soon we were engulfed in discussions which were far beyond our comprehension and were soon asked to go and chill out in the library while pondering over what had been discussed . and the next two days were spent in the same fashion .. between the library and two professors rooms . In between we had to prepare a write-up , and i am very grateful to the two profs for not having voiced their genuine dissatisfaction at our efforts (or rather the lack of it). We were also showed around the labs and invited to go there next summer for training !!!! An idea worth considering ?? CERTAINLY NOT after what happened in the next two days .

Before catching our thursday train back , we decided to check out the city .
Laziness is the hall mark of any group which has me as its part and ahmedabad was too big !!
So we went to the nearest multiplex and watched PAHELI (the first SRK movie i havent liked for years !! if only PARINEETA's show timings were more compatible .. and one more thing .. kolkata's multiplexes are far better than the one i saw here) . Then had my first ever bite at a McDonalds (again disappointing) .... had to scramble around a bit to find a restaurant and then had my first taste of non-veg food in almost a week !!!!!!! then back to guest house and wimbledon .

Our train was at 3:40 and we reached the station (this time the auto just charged Rs.60.. probably auguring the troubles that lay ahead of us) at 2:45 . heard the train was 3 hours late, then 5 hours .. and then 8 hours !! after waiting in the waiting room(another first for me) for nearly six hours , our train was finally cancelled :((
it had been raining incessantly in most parts of gujarat and the rail tracks in some parts had become dangerous . the roads in ahmedabad too were inundated and so we had to take a taxi (Rs.250) and we were at our wits' end.

Next morning , it was still raining and we met our guide . Now , he was very keen to get us out of ahmedabad . His basic idea was : take any train to go to any city in northern india and from there take a train to howrah !!!!!!! ridiculously simple idea which meant we would have to travel without reservations for more than two days . Worse still , no trains were leaving !! and then we were also told that we have to leave the guest house by sunday !!!!!!!! NOW THAT WAS ENOUGH .....

This was an adventure in the making but we are but mere mortals .. so we took the escapist's (could also be the most practical and feasible if also economically extravagant) route out ---- IC 7268 Ahmedabad to Kolkata Saturday evening 6:55 . No more drama . And as we left the guest house the second time on Saturday afternoon (praying that we wouldn't have to come back one more time and wondering how much compensation we could extricate from our project guide back in kgp) , i looked up at the cloudy skies ....

It was still drizzling and the cloud-cover was ubiquitous ...
i hadn't witnessed a single ray of sunlight in the seven days i had been here .


PS : the ending is probably a little abrupt because i thought i should let you think and reflect !!
the timeline of my blog is at present running backwards (my next post should be on the "summer at kgp" ... ) so please bear with me (its not intentional , and i too hate "Memento")

A Walk in the Clouds ...

with every passing minute , i discover a new layer of clouds .... as we go higher and higher up in the sky , newer horizons open up and the beauty is breath-taking . its not difficult to imagine why heaven is always believed to be above the clouds . Oh ! How i wish to just fly out into the open skies and enjoy the surreal beauty and embrace the ethereally fluffy clouds ... oops !! no no , that would be too dangerous .
if you have already got the picture , then i must congratulate you for your excellent analytical skills .. after all i took special care to ensure that the actual scenario remained an enigma . but then i guess i underestimate the intelligence of the elite readers of this blog .

so , i lay my wild imaginations to rest and lay back on my seat as my flight heads towards home ... leaving the disturbing crimson clouds over gujarat behind me and moving into the dark,calm skies .
the transition was so very symbolic . i spared a silent prayer for the thousands in the lands below ( now concealed by the clouds ) .. and then returned to my original "unpoetic" , "materialistic" self . i was just browsing through an agatha christie novel because i had really run out of things to do .. soon that too receded into the background as the comely air-hostess brought us food !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now a week in ahmedabad was eventful .. will surely describe that sometime if i can get over my laziness .. but 1 thing that didn't feature in those seven looooooooooonnnnnnngggggg days was non-veg food ( read chicken ... i can't really count the morning omlette as non-veg ) . so the little chicken that was on offer here tasted delicious ( need to improve my vocab !! ) . after the 30 minute food break ( also included salad , rice , dal , bread , butter , custard and coffee ) i decided to return to my "poetic" pretence . alas !! it was pitch black outside , so arka ( my friend ) and i ended up solving most of today's telegraph quick crossword ( someone give me a 7-letter word for innate .. hint : N_T_ _ _ _ ) and discussed the pros and cons of living in india and abroad ( our discussions always have the inherent (ridiculous) assumption that we have an option of settling down abroad ) . anyways , as usual , the discussions did not yield any conclusive results and soon our plane was descending .
within the next few minutes , we were below the clouds and i could see the kolkata lights ... hurrah !!!!!!!!

our tribulaton had finally come to an end . the city looked clumsily beautiful in the labyrinthine mesh of white and yellow lights ... and yes , it looked so very inviting !! as we landed and i checked my mobile's signal to call up my mom , i reflected back upon the one memory from this flight that i will be carrying with me for sometime ( cant carry too many memories .. limited disk space coupled with "short term memory" ) and it didnt even require a second consideration .

"absolutely clear blue skies fraught with myriad white clouds .. but it looked like something else ... it looked like the vast blue ,unending sea with icy shores ...." ---- if i could actually describe how beautiful the scene was , i would seriously consider changing over to literature from CS&E . but it was one of those moments you wish you could share with someone special .
and everytime i board a flight in the future , i will surely be looking out for the same sea , the same icy shores and the same person with whom i wished i could share it today .